On dreams

There seems to exist a general consensus that when people say "I had the wierdest dream last night", this is the prelude to one of the most boring conversations you can have. I'm not convinced we've really thought that through. I reckon that 'dream stories are boring' is accepted simply because it's accepted. Because, if you look at the facts, they are pretty bloody amazing.

Now perhaps people are turned off by dream stories because they are imaginary. Do those same people not like literature, poetry or films? Because that sounds a little bit like autism, which is generally regarded as being somewhat of an affliction (especially when you realise that autistics can't count cards like Rainman). Dreams are some of the most beautifully abstract things that our mind produced. Dreams are like stories made up by the lovechild of Terry Gilliam and a pretentious French avant-garde director who has taken LSD and then tried to make a film that's quite 'out-there'. And all this for free is pumped into the old brain box every night. Sometimes more than once. All in the comfort of your own bed.

Gotthilf Schubert wrote that "the dream is the liberation of the spirit from the pressure of external nature, a detachment of the soul from the fetters of matter". Dreams, therefore, are relaxing and stimulating, and most other things that are both of those are illegal and/or expensive.

If that is why dreams themselves are brilliant, dream stories are perhaps better because of one crucial fact - they can be interpreted. According to Freud, "the reading of dreams consists in replacing the events of the dream...by other events". This vagueness befits much of Freud's work, but in the hands of a layman, such as myself, it means we can have some fun. The interpretation of dreams is infinitely more enjoyable with only a scant knowledge of psychology (which the vast majority have). It means next time some dull bloke tells you about his dream where he was running with the bulls in Pamplona, your mind can tell you it's because he secretly is into bestiality. Or secretly Spanish. Whichever you find to be more scandalous. The possibilities are endless.

Finally, aside from all the Oedipal theories, dreams can offer a genuinely brilliant insight into the mind of someone, without them even knowing. Someone far cleverer than me suggested that asking someone their dreams would be a brilliant first-date gambit, because not only are you able to enter their psyche, and work out whether you are emotionally and spiritually compatible, but also means that you are not simply talking about yourself all evening.

So dreams therefore are a beautiful piece of mind-psychedelia that comes free with the possession of a brain. Admittedly the more creative the mind, the more brilliant the dreams (imagine what Hunter S. Thompson must have dreamt each night), but in fact dreams are arguably the most interesting aspect of a person's personality. So by hearing the dream stories you can a) amuse yourself with incestual slander b) weigh-up a life partner c) be treated to a free bit of theatre that takes less than a minute.

Incidentally, despite all written above, if 'Lost' finishes with it all being a dream, I'll be bloody furious...